As we look back on Gay Pride 2017, let us take notice at just how far we have come in just a matter of a few years. As our LGBTQ family united this past month, we saw an unprecedented amount of support from several multi national corporations taking a stand to help break the stigma of what it means to be gay.
We saw a record amount of gay families attending Pride parades and festivals this year also helping to diminish the polarizing view of what a traditional family looks like.

Back in 2001, in a Pew Research polling station, Americans opposed same-sex marriage by a margin of 57% - 35% .
Today, the support for same-sex marriage is at it's all time highest point since Pew Research Center has been polling this topic. In 2017- the majority of 62% of Americans are in favor of same-sex marriage while 32% are not.
www.pewforum.org (source)

There is so much to be proud about in our community! Our LGBTQ family is growing by leaps and bounds and it is incredibly important to remain optimistic about our future. It is also so very important to not give the voices on the wrong side of history a reason to spew anymore negativity about who we are. We mustn't fight bigotry with hatred. As hurtful as some of the words we hear are, especially as we hear them more regularly, we must fight their ignorance with compassion and
we must be steadfast in our desire to be accepted together as one nation. After all, this is what makes our country so beautiful. America is the home of so many wonderfully diverse groups of people. That is what makes her uniquely different from all the other countries in the world. It is so important to focus on the positive steps being made and not obsess on the defiance of a small few.

The LGBTQ family is united by our common bond of sexual orientation and identity. The beauty of our community shouldn't be plagued by the misrepresentation of what each of us individually embody- rather, what we all stand for together as a whole. We are the brothers and sisters of the rainbow, united as one group, one family, one race with one common desire. Equality.

I want to end my piece with a couple of powerful quotes from a true trailblazer. He helped lead the way to our inclusion to this society and we should forever be greatful.

Harvey Milk once said,
It takes no compromise to give people their rights...it takes no money to respect the individual. It takes no political deal to give people freedom. It takes no survey to remove repression."

I will close with this quote from Mr. Milk:
"I know that you cannot live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living. And you...And you...And you...Gotta give em hope."

photo credit: BSA photography

So, as we were speaking with our attorney, she continued on with... "I have found you another one!"
At that point, all I could really do was cry.
Were we ready to do this again? Could we really put our hearts out there one more time? She seemed cautiously optimistic yet very hopeful.
So, after really discussing this drastic turn of events, we allowed ourselves to step out of our comfort zones for one last attempt. It was a hail Mary, but we were willing to do it again.
This was our second match since January 20th of this year.
Her baby was due at the end of May, so the time difference really wasn't too far off from the original birthmother 's due date. It gave us about a months more planning to do.
Like I have said before, each adoption situation is different. This scenario was completely different from our first daughter's story. This time around we grew to become friends with our birthmother. She called us, and we called her. That friendship I felt really made our bond more special because we were emotionally invested with each other. We cared for her and her two boys. What she had went through was so inspiring and to me, she is a shining example of a phenomenal mother that would do anything for her kids. She was just not in a situation to have another one. We are all able to open up to each other and express our vulnerabilities.
We had our hearts broken the time before, so we were paranoid and hypersensitive about everything... I was at least. I had to just let go of my fears and allow my mind to rest. I had to just hang on to the faith of knowing that our plan was being written by the courage we allowed ourselves to have.

As we marched onward towards her due date, she had a few close calls with early labor. Douglas ended up taking her 4 times to the hospital during the month of May.
Then, at around midnight on May 22nd we got a text to rush to the hospital! This was the real deal. We jumped out of bed and went as fast as we could to meet her, and at 12:53 am our baby was born! Our prayers were answered and we were given a perfectly healthy and beautiful baby girl to complete our family.
​
So although I was sad and seemed hopeless in March, my heart was overjoyed and grateful in May. Blessings rarely come without heartache. It is through the pain you realize the purpose.

Photo credit: BSA photography

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Feature photo credit: BSA photography

The past year and half have been some of the best moments Douglas and I have ever shared together. We have learned so much more about each other than we thought we could after sharing over a decade with each other. We have learned how to calm each other down after a rough night, to laugh at each other when we take things too seriously... but most of all- to love everything each of us brings to this dynamic family unit.

Last October of 2016, Douglas and I started our deep discussions again. We talked about what we have learned so far with fatherhood and how we felt about everything up to that point. Alli Mae has helped us grow smarter, faster and allowed us to easily see what matters most in our lives.
We both know that we are in our mid 30's. I am almost 36 and Douglas will be 38 in September. We have said in the past that we want to raise a multiple child family. In order for this to happen we would really need to make some quick decisions about our future. One huge factor came into play.
Douglas is about to finish his 3rd year of medical school.
In his 4th year, he will have a significant amount of time to help me with Alli Mae and the new baby if we were to match with another birthmother soon. In order for that to happen we would need to start the adoption process as soon as possible because-
what if it took longer to find a baby this time?
After his 4th and final year of medical school he would then be accepted into a residency program into a hospital that he applies to. His schedule would then be dominated by his new job there. He would then be able to help me with any time he would have left over after such a grueling schedule.
So, after having our deep discussion, we decided to jump back on the adoption train again! WOO-WOO!! 🚂🌈👨‍👨‍👧‍👧

In mid October we got our federal and state background checks in order. Then we renewed our home study. Then, we waited.
We waited, and waited and then we waited some more. Then we got a call. It looked like there was a birthmother in Mississippi! Our hearts jumped out of our chest. We quickly typed out a portfolio with pictures talking about our life and sent it over. We were quickly informed that the birthmother had chosen family members to adopt her baby. I have to admit that stung, but we were just happy that the baby would be going to a home that was family and a home that would love and care for her.
About a month later we were told to make a really nice, hard back portfolio album telling about our lives. Like, where we live, about our daughter, our church, our families, etc. We were pretty excited about this. We worked really hard on it and the finished product came out wonderfully! About 2 weeks after that we recieved a call that our portfolio was being shown to a birthmother. We felt really positive about this. From the feedback we were getting it seemed like everything was moving in a positive direction. About 2 weeks went by and we were still feeling good about everything until we got the call. The birthmother actually chose another family. Now, to be perfectly honest, this frightened me. The birthmother declined on us because we already had a daughter. She ended up going with a family that didn't have any children at all. This was alarming for me. This whole time, I thought putting our family on the cover of our portfolio would be a strong visual and would show just how happy we are. I completely understand why the birthmother chose the other family, and this, I suppose is why it scared me. Some birthmothers want their baby's to go to a family that is desperately seeking to find a child. They want to know that their child will not be loved more than a sibling. To us that is impossible and would never happen, but we respect different birthmother's decision processes.
So there we were. I was pitiful. And Douglas again, my coach and rock was able to get me to see the beauty in how the situation unfolded. That family that matched now will have their first child. We read their portfolio and it was so charming and it really made my heart happy to know that they finally would be able to welcome their first baby home.
It was time to get up, and dust our shoulders off and keep marching forward. Each situation seemed to get us more and more in tune with the process. All we knew before with Alli Mae was how she basically fell from Heaven into our lap. Our 3-5 year wait we were told in the beginning turned out to be a 3.5 week wait. We knew going into this again that scenario is VERY uncommon and to not allow our minds and hearts to think it could happen again. We were already 3 months into waiting for our second baby. We knew that our 'Alli Mae situation' would indeed not be playing out like it did before.
Mid January rolled around and there I was. Me, the television and the inauguration of Donald Trump. 😝 Ugh! The morning was already going south. Why am I watching this horse sh*t?
And then the phone rang, so I proudly muted the tv.

This was the call we had been praying for. This was it! I started shaking as I was talking with our agency. She was going over the details and what we would be expecting and if we were interested.
​ I hung up with her so I could frantically call Douglas at school- and he didn't answer. So, I called his mom. After talking with her, I really felt like I could make the executive decision. YES! We are intersted. We are DEFINITELY interested!
So, on what seemed to be that sour and dreary inauguration Friday of Donald Trump turned into a beautiful day for our family. Out of the blue, like a shooting star in a thunderstorm, we matched with our birthmother.

After we got confirmation that we were indeed matched, we started our planning process. In a way, we planned like we did when we first found out that we were going to bring home Alli Mae. We read that when you first bring your new baby home, your first born will be jealous and resentful. There were things we could prepare for before we brought the new baby home. The first thing was to move Alli Mae into her new room before the baby comes. In doing this, she will feel like she isn't being "kicked out" of her nursery. There was about 3 or 4 weeks in between that she could get use to her new "toddler" room.
We were eager to transorm our guest room into her new jungle. This room is much bigger than her nursery and it is absolutely perfect for a child her age. We went back to the drawing board to come up with fun themes that would be perfect for her.
The theme that we settled on was a tropical jungle setting filled with palm trees, monkeys, parrots, butterflies and other fun pictures on the walls. I wanted a vibrant color in this room that matched her personality. We picked out a sunset orange color. It is technically called "Tiger Lilly Orange."

After we got her settled into her new room we started preparing for life when the new baby comes.
I have ran a restaurant in the French Quarter for 10 years now. Being the general manager, I really didn't have too much time to be able to spend away from the restaurant. When I was at home, I usually had to do something that pertained to work and I couldn't have my full attention on my family. I knew things would have to change once we brought the new baby home. So, with the help of my dear friend and owner of the restaurant, who happens to also be my daughter's godfather, we came up with an exit strategy. As hard as it was for me to leave this part of my life, it was equally exciting to begin this new book. I would say chapter, but this is a brand new book. I would be able to stay at home while Douglas finishes out his last year in medical school. The feeling of being a stay-at-home papa was so empowering. I knew my children would be perfectly fine and I would not have to have a sitter or daycare.
The plan was to end my time there about 2 weeks before the baby came. When my time came to leave, it was emotional. It almost felt like I was jumping off of a cliff not knowing how deep the water was below me. It was exciting yet absolutely terrifying.
The closer we got to the date, the more anxiously happy we both were. We tried not to tell too many people. I had to tell more people because of me leaving my job, I felt obligated to give an explanation in why. The day we got the sonogram picture of the baby was when it really felt real. To see this tiny treasure inside of a tummy was so surreal.
We were in contact with the birthmother weekly it seemed. We knew that she had an obligation at the end of the month and once that was seen to, she would be ready move into the agency's apartment in New Orleans in preparation for the baby's birth which was absolutely fine with us, it just seemed like that was very close to her delivery date. So, once the end of the month came we axiously awaited the phone call for our birthmother to relocate. One day led to two days, that then led to three days. By the fourth day after her obligatory date, my heart really started pounding.
We called the agency and it was like someone punched me in my stomach ten times. Our birthmother had disappeared.

I didn't know what to do. I was in complete shock. We had invested so much into preparing for this adoption. All the planning with my job, the money we paid up front, and moving our daughter into a new and unfamiliar room just seemed SO unfair. I just felt sick. I am telling you, I was a complete and soggy mess for days. I have 3 huge bags of retired clothes from Alli Mae that I had separated into different sizes in the middle of the floor of the nursery for our new baby girl.
To this day, all the piles of clothes are still in the middle of the floor in their respected sizes. I just can't bring myself to opening that door. Each day that goes by, I get a little stronger. Douglas is my rock and Alli Mae is my angel, my ray of sunshine. She helps pull her papa out of any depression that comes along. Her laughter and curiosity just warms my heart and definitely keeps me busy. Douglas and I are so blessed to have her in our lives and to let sadness and depression overshadow her light would just be wrong. Yes, this hurts. BAD. We knew in the beginning, ANYTHING can happen. I didn't expect it, and that might be where I went wrong. Adoption is not for the faint of heart, that is for sure- but it is absolutely worth it once it is completed.
Now that I can look back on things, there are some red flags that I wish we would have caught. As I said earlier, even though we have Alli Mae, we are still pretty green to this process. The "ins and outs" were not really clear for us. Now that we have officially seen something fall through, especially the way this one did, we now can pick out a few of the warning signs.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to ask the right questions. You may shy away from asking differernt ones because of different circumstances, but at the end of the day, you want to make the best decision you possibly can on the information that you are given.
Make sure you and your spouse write down a list of different personal questions that you feel will better help you understand what is going on.

Adoptions still fail even when the hard questions are asked. People love to hear the beautiful side to adoption. But there are definitely other dark and stormy sides to it as well.
It is a wonderful thing to experience. It is a much different story when your adoption fails and sadness takes the place of joy.
But please, if your adoption does end in a way you wish it hadn't- learn from it.
Walk away a smarter person and apply this to your next experience. Life is about learning and growing and seeing the beauty inside of the darkness.
Find the silver linings and go from there. Don't let a failed adoption dictate your future. I know it will not dictate ours. Alli Mae WILL HAVE a little brother or sister. We must take solace in knowing that everything happens for a reason and this adoption was not in our plan. I will hold on tight to those words and know that our plan is being written as we speak, I just don't know how the map will get us there, but I do know where the map will lead. We WILL bring our second child home, and I am looking forward to the day I can announce to the world.

​I would love for you to follow our family on
Instagram@nolapapa
like us on Facebook/Nolapapa and
​nolapapa.com

Feature photo credit: BSA photography

In the beginning, it was so hard for my husband and I to not get caught up in our new baby's milestones. It was so exciting when she would practically learn something new overnight! It was also a bit stressful to compare her growth with other babies around us. We learned early on that the speed of each child's growth is different. While we would be excited for different friend's babies, we would also look at our own child's growth and sometimes feel disheartened when she would lag behind a bit.
I would always have to justify the differences because our baby was born prematurely at 31 weeks rather than a full term pregnancy. Where some baby's develop regularly and their ehancements and achievements seem to happen faster, with a preemie baby there is an "adjustment " period. With us, we had an adjustment period of 2 months. This means that our baby would usually achieve her milestones about 2 months after a full term baby.
With Alli Mae being born at 31 weeks, we qualified for a program called "Early Steps". This is a WONDERFUL and FREE program (if you qualify) that helped us along the way in caring for our baby and also taught us how to do different activities that would help her along with achieving different milestones.
We first met our coordinator for "Early Steps" and they interviewed us and assesed our situation we had with our daughter and assigned us with a wonderful physical therapist that helped us so much in the beginning and most crucial time for our baby. Ms. Laura showed us different techniques to help Alli Mae's mind, eyes, hands, and tummy time development. She brought over different toys that would stimulate our baby's mind and also would teach us how to use them.

One toy in particular she brought was the jingle ball-

Although this may look like a cat toy, this isn't. It is specifically made to help a baby's grasping capabilities. The little ball inside has a bell that keeps the baby engaged while the outer ball has holes to allow the baby to grasp it with both hands.
This was the first step in teaching our baby to hold a bottle on her own.
Another milestone we had was when she could transfer the ball from one hand to another. That was an exciting day!

An activity mat was another useful item that we got to help during our physical therapy sessions. These pieces connect and were great for the next lesson we were taught.

"Tummy time" is also such an important activity that we had to learn to adjust to. It was very difficult to watch Alli Mae in distress. Although it was only for a minute and a half or 2, it is still difficult to watch. My immediate reaction was to pick her up, but we learned that she was not in pain, or in any harm, she was just uncomfortable. After being on her tummy for so long, she would learn to flip over. For us, this took up to the 2 month adjustment period. It seemed like it took forever to get to that point, but after she learned to flip over, each milestone became faster for her to achieve.
We learned so much from our physical therapist, Ms Laura. It was hard to say goodbye. She became a friend and I truly miss her sessions twice a month.
She helped Douglas and I grow our confidence while assuring us that we were going to be just fine. Although it was scrary for us at that time, she was absolutely right. We were just fine.
The world needs many more people like Ms. Laura.
That is for sure.

Remember that each baby develops at their own pace. Try your best to not gage their progress with other babies. That will just set you up for disappointment. Cherish the moments you have not reached yet. Your baby, although they may have not achieved an upcoming milestone quite yet, I know you are anxious for them to do so... just remember that once they DO reach that particular milestone they will NEVER be able to Not reach it again. Hold on tight to the milestones you have yet to make, because you will never be able to do that again.
Time goes by so fast. Make your milestones last
​as long as they can.

I would love for you to follow our family's journey on Instagram@nolapapa • Like us on Facebook/Nolapapa

For Valentine's day one of my most favorite things to make for my husband's dessert are delicious crepes. With so many different variations of sweet crepe recipes you can never go wrong! You can choose the light and sexy route with strawberries and cream or opt for a more decadent dish with chocolate.
I will go over step by step in how to create a fail proof and delicious strawberries and cream cheese stuffed crepe just in time for Valentine's day!

First things first:
Utensils-
3 medium size bowls
wooden spoon
Kitchen Aid mixer or hand mixer
10" non stick pan
Rubber tipped spatula

Grocery list-
1 package of strawberries
1 cup of granulated sugar
1 package of Philadelphia cream cheese
1/3 cup of sour cream
1/3 cup of sweetened condensed milk
1 tablespoon of confectioners sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (high quality)
1 cup of flour
2 eggs
1 cup of water
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 cup of milk
nonstick cooking spray
​
Now I will complete each component of this dessert in the order each step should be prepared in.

First,

Making crepes are fun and easy! Your crepe batter can last in the refrigerator for up to 2 days. There are also different ways to
fold your crepe depending on how large the crepe is. For smaller and medium crepes rolling and flipping is the best route I have found. You can also stack, which is yummy too!
For larger crepes you can fold the tradintional triangle method which are what crepes are known for. But however you fold them, they all taste delicious! I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's day with your loved one. And if you're single, that just means you have more delicious crepes for yourself!

I would love for you to follow our family's journey on Instagram@nolapapa
Nolapapa.com and like us on Facebook/Nolapapa

Featured Photos Credit: BSAphotography

Photo Credit: BSA photography

Some people in the south usually do not get the gravity of being different unless they are actually different themselves or have been affected directly by someone's difference . Growing up in south Mississippi was really hard for me. People there don't empathize easily. It is a deep rooted and early learned mentality that is taught throughout life. Some children of these households are told that being different is weird, it usually "goes against their religion" and is looked down on.
It really doesn't matter what type of difference really- whether it is skin color, religion or sexual orientation.
Change comes very slowly in the south. For example, Just a couple of weeks ago, in a town an hour away from where I grew up, finally changed their town's holiday back to "Martin Luther King Jr. Day" from "All American's day" due to major backlash this year. It was renamed "All American's Day" in the mid 1980's.

For me, as a teenager, learning that I wasn't like all the other boys was particularly difficult. I was a late bloomer and a pretty small and shy boy. I didn't like sports and I kept to myself mostly. I was often bullied about my differences. There is only so much of that someone can take before they really start to question their purpose in life. I was called "gay" before I even knew what gay meant. Over time, it really hurt me and would often break me down. I'm sure all across this country- not just the south- people are bullied, teased, and hurt because they are "different." It took years to really get over that part of my life. In a way, I was traumatized. My heart breaks when I hear other stories of people being bullied about being different- about being gay. There is something that happens to someone's confidence when they grow up in an environment such as I did. Over time, as I grew up and as I moved away from Mississippi, I was able to put my childhood behind me. I was able to focus on the "here and now" and not dwell in my past. I feel that was the best thing I could have done as I started out in New Orleans on my own. I was able to move on, but I was not able to forget. As much as I wish I could and not be bothered by my past, sometimes it comes bubbleing back up. This really didn't happen until we had our beautiful baby, Alli Mae. She is the absolute light of our lives and I fall more in love with her ever single day.
I don't know what it is like being gay and having a child in New York or California... but in the south, it can be particularly difficult for me because of people's judgement of our lives.
I feel like I probably read in to things too much, or maybe I overthink things too often. It is hard for me to turn a blind eye to glares from onlookers. Just last year, Mississippi passed a freedom of religion law that allows any business to refuse service to customers that goes against their religion. Yes, in 2017, in my home state of Mississippi, my own family can be denied service because we are different from most people.
My little girls parents are gay, and because of that, we can be turned away. It breaks my heart.
Today however, I have to be a strong papa. I cannot let my angel see that I am hurting. The last thing I would EVER want to do is allow her to realize the pain that I am feeling because of the society around us.
Recently, Douglas helped ease my mind. In public, we get looked at, A LOT. It doesn't matter if we are in Olive Garden, or at Home Depot. It actually brings me back to my childhood and really makes me feel self conscious and I didn't like it. I would often feel defensive and self conscious about the glares until Douglas chimed in. "What if the people's glares were actually stares?" He asked.
"This may be the first time straight people have ever seen a gay family. This may be the first time they have ever seen a baby be as happy as ours with 2 dads. This may be the time that we proved to them that gay people can be just as good of parents as traditional ones, he continued. We are even better than some. Everytime we go out, people stare because they may have never seen this before. Rather than being self conscious about it, own it. Let it be a teaching experience for them. Don't read into their stares. Most likely they are staring with curiosity and not judgment" he said adamantly.
I think about those words everytime I am in public now. I never realized that some people down here may have never seen or interacted with a gay family. We are however in the south, and it isn't all that common with gay men. Lesbian families are a bit more prevalent. Living in this small suburb of New Orleans, we may very well be the only gay men family. So now, this actually excites me more now than scares me because I want them to see that we are like any other "traditional family". I just need to remember to stay confident.

​One of my most favorite quotes really sums all of this up for me. Hellen Keller once said, "Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."

Follow my family's journey on
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​

Photo Credit: BSA Photography

Dear America,
For the first time in my life, I am able to breathe fresh air of change- A fresh breath of hope-A fresh breath of validity. I am able to call my partner my legal husband. I am able to create a family that is right in the eyes of our law- that is just like any other traditional family, simply because we are all Americans. Regardless of what side of the aisle you sit, denying someone else's right to the same privilege that someone else naturally has is unfair and is against the principles that our United States were founded on and that our country is about.
Though President Obama didn't change the law for the LGBTQ community, he is and always will be a trailblazer and ahead of his time when it comes to standing up for what is right.
While for some, including my own extended family are happy about the transition, I ask for discretion, restraint, and tact in this time of adjustment.
It sometimes is hard to say goodbye. Though some may not understand, I just hope they can empathize. We are saying goodbye to an era- to a movement. We are saying goodbye to Obama's revolution.
We must band together as the beautifully diverse country that we are and continue our march towards equality. We must lift up the ones who need a voice, and turn our heads from the ones that misuse it.
We are not saying goodbye to change, to hope, to equality. I refuse to back down now when so much is at stake.
It is, and always will be our ONE nation under God, with liberty and justice FOR ALL.

Thank you President Obama.

​
❤the Alexander's- New Orleans, La

My absolute favorite time of year for desserts is citrus season- particularly, Meyer lemon season!
I have had Meyer lemon trees for years now. I love to go outside and pluck the juiciest lemons to make a homemade dessert. There is nothing like it! Meyer lemons are a hybrid of lemons and oranges. A tart blend of sweet and sour!
There are so many different delicious desserts I make each winter.
Today, I'm going to share with you my
Meyer lemon meringue pie recipe.
This is a classic southern dessert that is certain to be a show stopper.
It will have your family begging for more.

You absolutely do not need Meyer lemons for this recipe, however I recommend them.

Now- lets begin!

The utinsils you will need are:
•Large mixing bowl
•rubber spatula
•cookie sheet
•electric mixer

For your pie crust-
put a sheet of parchment paper over your crust and fill your crust with pie weights. I have used uncooked, dry red beans for years now as my pie weights.
•Bake at 350 degrees for about 15-20 minutes

For your pie filling-
•in a medium sauce pan combine ingredients- *plus a quarter cup of water*
​ (add egg yolks last- one at a time while stirring)
mix together with rubber spatula.
•on medium heat- melt a quarter cup of butter while stirring.
Once all ingredients are incorporated and you have a smooth mixture,
•put pie crust on cookie sheet- pour mixture into pie crust
•bake in a preheated oven at 350 degrees for about 20-25 minutes- until the mixute is jiggly and not rippley.

For your meringue-
•in a kitchen aid mixing bowl, add your egg whites and beat on medium high speed, lightly adding sugar and cream of tarter.
•beat until very stiff peaks and irredentist in color

Once pie filling has baked, take out of oven and top with meringue.
•Using your rubber spatula- place spatula onto the meringue and move in an upward motion, making pointed meringue peaks.
•Once pointed peaks are made, place back in oven and bake at 350 degrees until the meringue is lightly browned.

•Let cool and then chill in refrigerator for at least 3 hours.

This is my husbands absolute favorite dessert of all time. He grew up with his grandmother's lemon meringue pie and this brings him back to his childhood. I love to see his reaction when I take one out of the oven.
I surely hope your family enjoys yours as much as my family enjoys mine!

Please post a picture of your pie and #nolapapa
I would love to see your hardwork!

Also, follow my family's journey on
Instagram @nolapapa and like us on Facebook/Nolapapa

photo credit: BSAphotography

I would love for you to follow our family's journey on Instagram @nolapapa