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Pride Reflections

6/28/2017

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As we look back on Gay Pride 2017, let us take notice at just how far we have come in just a matter of a few years. As our LGBTQ family united this past month, we saw an unprecedented amount of support from several multi national corporations taking a stand to help break the stigma of what it means to be gay.
We saw a record amount of gay families attending Pride parades and festivals this year also helping to diminish the polarizing view of what a traditional family looks like.

Back in 2001, in a Pew Research polling station, Americans opposed same-sex marriage by a margin of 57% - 35% .
Today, the support for same-sex marriage is at it's all time highest point since Pew Research Center has been polling this topic. In 2017- the majority of 62% of Americans are in favor of same-sex marriage while 32% are not.
www.pewforum.org (source)

There is so much to be proud about in our community! Our LGBTQ family is growing by leaps and bounds and it is incredibly important to remain optimistic about our future. It is also so very important to not give the voices on the wrong side of history a reason to spew anymore negativity about who we are. We mustn't fight bigotry with hatred. As hurtful as some of the words we hear are, especially as we hear them more regularly, we must fight their ignorance with compassion and
we must be steadfast in our desire to be accepted together as one nation. After all, this is what makes our country so beautiful. America is the home of so many wonderfully diverse groups of people. That is what makes her uniquely different from all the other countries in the world. It is so important to focus on the positive steps being made and not obsess on the defiance of a small few.

The LGBTQ family is united by our common bond of sexual orientation and identity. The beauty of our community shouldn't be plagued by the misrepresentation of what each of us individually embody- rather, what we all stand for together as a whole. We are the brothers and sisters of the rainbow, united as one group, one family, one race with one common desire. Equality.
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Baby Ella's Welcome Party in June
I want to end my piece with a couple of powerful quotes from a true trailblazer. He helped lead the way to our inclusion to this society and we should forever be greatful.

Harvey Milk once said,
It takes no compromise to give people their rights...it takes no money to respect the individual. It takes no political deal to give people freedom. It takes no survey to remove repression."

I will close with this quote from Mr. Milk:
"
I
know that you cannot live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living. And you...And you...And you...Gotta give em hope."

I would love for you to come along on our journey!

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🏳️‍🌈👭CONGRATULATIONS
GERMANY!👬🌈

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Finding Ella

6/1/2017

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Tonight, I can now tell you that this has been the most difficult and emotional journey I think we have ever experienced. Adoption is a true blessing, but the fact of the matter is-
it is never is a sure thing until the very end.
All of the legislation and laws are in favor of the birthmother- and understandably so.
We as the adoptive family really have no say so in what happens until the very end of the process. Everything is in place to protect the birthmother- so, everything put forth by the adoptive family is put there by faith and that alone.
Just a couple of days after I wrote my previous blog piece called
"Silver Linings", our attorney reached out to us and apologized for the heartache the last birthmother put us through.
Heartache it truly was. The month of March was a particularly difficult month for me. It was really hard for me to process all that we have gone threw. The emotions we experienced on a daily basis were just so intense. The ups and downs like a roller coaster that didn't seem to stop until all of a sudden... it did.
It ended so abruptly. There was no closure on why the birthmother changed her mind or what her new plan was and Douglas and I will never know. I had to come to peace with that.
I just know that everyone has a plan and it wasn't in our plan
to adopt her baby.
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photo credit: BSA photography
So, as we were speaking with our attorney, she continued on with... "I have found you another one!"
At that point, all I could really do was cry.

Were we ready to do this again? Could we really put our hearts out there one more time? She seemed cautiously optimistic yet very hopeful.
So, after really discussing this drastic turn of events, we allowed ourselves to step out of our comfort zones for one last attempt. It was a hail Mary, but we were willing to do it again.
This was our second match since January 20th of this year.
Her baby was due at the end of May, so the time difference really wasn't too far off from the original birthmother 's due date. It gave us about a months more planning to do.
Like I have said before, each adoption situation is different. This scenario was completely different from our first daughter's story. This time around we grew to become friends with our birthmother. She called us, and we called her. That friendship I felt really made our bond more special because we were emotionally invested with each other. We cared for her and her two boys. What she had went through was so inspiring and to me, she is a shining example of a phenomenal mother that would do anything for her kids. She was just not in a situation to have another one. We are all able to open up to each other and express our vulnerabilities.
We had our hearts broken the time before, so we were paranoid and hypersensitive about everything... I was at least. I had to just let go of my fears and allow my mind to rest. I had to just hang on to the faith of knowing that our plan was being written by the courage we allowed ourselves to have.
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Photo credit: BSA photography
As we marched onward towards her due date, she had a few close calls with early labor. Douglas ended up taking her 4 times to the hospital during the month of May.
Then, at around midnight on May 22nd we got a text to rush to the hospital! This was the real deal. We jumped out of bed and went as fast as we could to meet her, and at 12:53 am our baby was born! Our prayers were answered and we were given a perfectly healthy and beautiful baby girl to complete our family.
​
So although I was sad and seemed hopeless in March, my heart was overjoyed and grateful in May. Blessings rarely come without heartache. It is through the pain you realize the purpose.
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The first time we got to hold our daughter, Ella.
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Photo credit: BSA photography
Silver Lingings are always there. You just have to look for them. Sometimes it is hard for us to find them ourselves. It helps to have someone you love point them out for you- And when they do, have faith in finding your dream, the ambition to make it happen and the patience to perceiver.
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Big sis Alli Mae with her baby sister Ella
I would love for you to Follow our family's journey-
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